Relationship-Based Practice

Relationship‑Based Practice: Trauma‑Informed and Neurodivergence‑Friendly

Purpose of This Page

This page is one of the pages within the Social Care Assessments section, which are designed to support people with social care needs — including adults who require care and support due to physical, mental, sensory, learning, or cognitive disabilities or illnesses, as well as those affected by substance misuse or brain injury. These pages also support young people with special educational needs (SEN) who have an Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan under the Children and Families Act 2014, along with their families and carers.

Their purpose is to help you prepare for assessments under the Care Act 2014 or other legal frameworks, and to strengthen your understanding of your rights at every stage of the process.

This resource can be used to:

Prepare before an assessment and reflect on strengths, needs, preferences, and the assessment itself.
Support the assessment process, promote shared understanding, and ensure the experience is trauma‑informed, neurodivergence‑friendly, and accessible.
Guide meaningful conversations and help practitioners, families, and individuals co‑produce personalised, inclusive, rights-based care and support plans.
Build confidence and empowerment. Explore the principles and strategies outlined below to feel more informed, prepared, and actively involved in planning for care and support.
They are created to support families and young people with SEND, offering clear, practical guidance to help you prepare for assessments under the Care Act 2014 or other legal frameworks, and to help you understand your rights at every stage of the process.

Through my professional practice and development, I have developed a range of tools that support Strengths‑Based, Relationship‑Based Practice, using Trauma‑Informed and Neurodivergence‑Friendly approaches. These tools are designed to make assessments and care planning clearer, safer, and more accessible for people with different communication styles, sensory needs, and lived experiences — including families and carers.

One of these tools is a document titled "Determining Care Needs Eligibility Under the Care Act 2014." This tool includes key assessment questions and practical guidance specifically tailored for people who are autistic, neurodivergent, or living with mental health needs. It aligns with the Care Act 2014 and trauma‑informed principles, and offers guidance, tips, and key questions for use during Strengths‑Based, Trauma‑Informed Assessment and Care Planning.

Alongside the eligibility information, the document also includes:

Coping skills and personal strengths that people may already use
Questions that explore common difficulties and barriers
Consideration of the needs of families and carers, recognising that support systems matter
A focus on invisible barriers — such as sensory overload, anxiety, executive functioning challenges, trauma responses, and cognitive fatigue — which may not be obvious to others but can have a big impact on daily life

Relationship‑Based Practice sits at the heart of Trauma‑Informed and Neurodivergence‑Friendly Practice. It recognises that trauma may manifest differently in neurodivergent individuals, and that safe, consistent, trusting relationships are essential for meaningful engagement and support.

This approach acknowledges the importance of recognising and responding to emotions, as effective social work requires a worker to tune into the emotional world of a client and communicate this understanding within the relationship. A key element of a meaningful relationship is trust – the person has to feel that they can trust us and that we genuinely have empathy towards them and their situation.

Relationship‑Based Practice, the Care Act 2014, and SEND

Relationship‑Based Practice aligns closely with the principles of the Care Act 2014 and the SEND framework. All three emphasise person‑centred, strengths‑based, and collaborative approaches, where meaningful relationships are central to achieving positive outcomes.

The Care Act 2014 requires local authorities to promote wellbeing, prevent the escalation of need, and work in partnership with individuals. This is inherently relational: practitioners must build trust, understand the person’s lived experience, and co‑produce plans that reflect what matters to them.

The SEND Code of Practice (0–25) places strong emphasis on listening to children, young people, and families; understanding their communication preferences; and working collaboratively across education, health, and care. Effective SEND practice depends on safe, attuned relationships that enable participation and reduce distress.

Relationship‑Based Practice provides the theoretical and ethical foundation for both frameworks. It recognises that change happens through human connection, that emotions and context matter, and that practitioners must use empathy, reflection, and attuned communication to support individuals meaningfully.

Together, these approaches create a practice culture where people feel heard, understood, and empowered, and where support is built on trust rather than procedure alone.

This approach acknowledges the unique characteristics of people, including:

communication needs and preferences
sensory profiles
strengths and challenges
neurodivergent‑specific traumas (e.g., chronic misunderstanding, sensory overwhelm, stigma, unmet support needs)

It emphasises emotional safety, sensory awareness, and communication that respects neurodivergent ways of processing, expressing, and understanding information. It recognises that support is not limited to people with visible or physical disabilities. Invisible barriers — sensory overload, anxiety, trauma responses, executive functioning challenges, cognitive fatigue, and more — can make everyday tasks difficult, unsafe, or distressing.

The Care Act clearly recognises invisible barriers and difficulties that affect needs and communication.

mental health conditions
neurodevelopmental conditions (including autism and ADHD)
cognitive and sensory differences
trauma‑related needs, including safeguarding
fluctuating or episodic conditions

This includes unique ways of processing, expressing, and understanding information.

Many responses that are often misunderstood or labelled as “challenging behaviour” are, in reality, signs of distress or unmet need. These may include:

Shutdowns or withdrawal
Masking or camouflaging
Sensory overload or overwhelm
Heightened vulnerability to misinterpretation or exclusion

It emphasises emotional safety, sensory awareness, and communication that respects neurodivergent ways of processing, expressing, and understanding information. It also recognises that many barriers are invisible, including:

sensory overload
anxiety
trauma responses
executive functioning challenges
cognitive fatigue
fluctuating capacity

These can make everyday tasks difficult, unsafe, or distressing, even when no physical disability is visible.

A focus on invisible barriers

Executive functioning challenges

Executive functioning challenges refer to difficulties with the mental and cognitive skills that help a person plan, organise, start tasks, stay focused, manage time, remember information, regulate emotions, and adapt to changes.

These challenges are common in many neurodivergent people, including those with:

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Specific learning difficulties (SpLD) such as dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, or dysgraphia
Caused by a neurological condition that comes on suddenly, such as a head injury, stroke, meningitis, or hypoxia (lack of oxygen), they can also be caused by natural age-related changes in the brain or a condition related to ageing (for example, dementia)
Or they can be temporary (due to illness or factors like stress, fatigue, or substance misuse), which can be linked to a mental health problem or neurodevelopmental condition.

Many definitions of executive functioning (EF) exist. According to Dr Russell A. Barkley, Executive Functioning: Understanding and Managing Deficits, executive functioning refers to a set of cognitive abilities that a person uses to achieve a goal. These abilities often include:

abstract reasoning
problem‑solving
concept formation
planning
mental flexibility
attention

Executive functioning is also described as a set of regulatory processes needed for selecting, initiating, carrying out, and monitoring thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and certain motor and sensory actions.

Executive functioning difficulties can affect everyday life in many ways, such as:

planning and organising a task
starting or completing tasks
keeping up the motivation to complete a task
paying or maintaining attention (not getting distracted)
starting or switching tasks without being prompted
multi-tasking and switching attention, or shifting between tasks
time management (dealing with time, deadlines, predicting how long something will take, scheduling tasks appropriately, and not losing track of time)
managing routines or appointments
coping with unexpected changes
problem solving and decision making

These challenges are often invisible, but they can have a big impact on a person’s ability to engage with services, complete assessments, or manage daily living tasks without the right support.

People with executive functioning difficulties may look distracted, messy, clumsy, or unreliable — even though they are trying their best.

They may get easily upset, frustrated, panicky, or overwhelmed. Some may seem stubborn or rigid, sticking to plans even when those plans aren’t working, because changing direction feels confusing or stressful.

These difficulties can show up in many everyday ways. A person might:

seem “lazy” because starting or finishing tasks is genuinely hard
bring the wrong books or materials to school or appointments
find group work extremely challenging
get caught up in small details that aren’t important
struggle to finish tests or tasks within time limits
find it difficult to wait their turn or manage queues

None of these behaviours are about attitude or effort — they are signs of a brain working differently, often under stress, overload, or fatigue. With understanding and the right support, people can thrive.

Dr Russell A. Barkley categorised executive functioning into six domains.

1. Working Memory

This is the ability to hold information in your mind long enough to use it. It helps with things like:

remembering what you were about to do
keeping track of steps in a task
organising information
thinking ahead (foresight) and learning from past experiences (hindsight)
managing emotions in the moment

When working memory is difficult, people may forget instructions, lose track of tasks, or struggle to organise their thoughts or belongings.

2. Planning

Planning is about figuring out what needs to happen, how to do it, and when to do it. It includes:

breaking tasks into steps
knowing where to start
understanding how long things take
preparing for future tasks

When planning is hard, tasks feel too big, overwhelming, or impossible to start.

3. Problem‑Solving

Problem‑solving helps a person think of different ways to handle a situation, especially when something goes wrong. It involves:

thinking of different options
imagining what might happen
choosing the best solution
adjusting plans when things change

When this is hard, you may feel stuck, panicked, or unsure how to move forward.

4. Self‑Monitoring

Self‑monitoring is the ability to check in with yourself while doing something. It helps with:

noticing mistakes
adjusting behaviour
staying on track
recognising when something isn’t working

When this skill is hard, people may not realise they’ve gone off‑task, missed steps, or misunderstood instructions.

5. Interference Control (Focus and Inhibition)

This is your ability to ignore distractions — both outside (noise, people) and inside (thoughts, emotions).
It protects your attention so you can stay focused.

When this is difficult, people may be easily distracted, overwhelmed, or pulled off‑task by thoughts, sounds, or emotions.

6. Self‑Motivation

Self‑motivation is the internal “fuel” that helps you start tasks and keep going, especially when the reward is far away.
It includes:

getting started
keeping momentum
staying committed to long‑term goals
re‑energising yourself when motivation drops

When this is hard, people may struggle with task initiation, follow‑through, or long‑term projects — even when they care deeply about the outcome.

7. Self‑Regulation of Emotion

This is the ability to handle strong emotions that may be triggered by environmental factors so they don’t take over or create problems in relationships—whether personal, at work, in education, or during other activities. It includes:

pausing before reacting
calming yourself
expressing emotions in a safe, appropriate way
using emotions to support your goals

When this is difficult, emotions may feel intense, overwhelming, or hard to control.

Sensory overload or overwhelm

Hypervigilance and Sensory Defensiveness - Heightened alertness to social or sensory threats. May present as irritability, avoidance, or refusal to engage

anxiety

Pain and discomfort, energy and fatigue, sleep and lack of rest, and other physical symptoms directly affect a person’s ability to function, participate, and maintain activities and meet Care Act outcomes safely, consistently, and without distress. Those invisable bariers and dificulties will likley affect work and educations by impacting on:

stamina and energy for learning

attendance and engagement

sensory regulation

sleep and concentration

participation in school routines and social activities

trauma responses

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) and Rejection Sensitivity difficulties - Extreme emotional pain in response to perceived criticism or rejection. Can lead to avoidance of relationships, services, or self-advocacy. Can lead to sudden mood changes or shutdowns after perceived rejection. Difficulty trusting others or forming relationships. Extreme emotional pain from minor criticism or social exclusion. Avoidance of social or public situations due to fear of rejection

fluctuating capacity

Shutdowns or withdrawal - silence, immobility, dissociation.

Meltdowns - Intense emotional outbursts, often triggered by sensory overload or emotional distress.

emotional intensity and Emotional Dysregulation - Difficulty identifying, expressing, or managing emotions. May be misinterpreted as aggression, defiance, or instability

Masking or camouflaging - Suppressing natural behaviours (e.g. stimming, avoiding eye contact) to avoid rejection and/or to fit in socially. May lead to emotional exhaustion, identity confusion, emotional distress and burnout. Often mistaken for “coping well” or “not needing support.”

Selective Mutism or Communication Shutdown - Temporary inability to speak or communicate under stress or specific situations - like unfamiliar people/situations. Often misunderstood as non-compliance or a lack of capacity

Heightened vulnerability to misinterpretation or exclusion

Avoidance (fear) of Services due to past trauma, invalidation, or sensory/environmental barriers.

These can make everyday tasks difficult, unsafe, or distressing, even when no physical disability is visible.

In trauma‑informed practice, these responses are not viewed as behaviours to correct, but as signals that a person needs understanding, support, and safety.

Research shared by ADHDWISE UK (2025) and the Crisis Prevention Institute (2022) highlights the cumulative impact of negative experiences. Psychiatrist William W. Dodson, MD, estimates that by age 12, children with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages from adults than their neurotypical peers. This shapes self‑esteem, emotional development, and long‑term wellbeing — and underscores why compassionate, strengths‑based practice is essential.

Across the UK, increasing numbers of young people are struggling with mental health difficulties, neurodevelopmental needs, and the transition into adulthood. These challenges do not occur in isolation; they reflect gaps in early support, understanding, and coordinated services.

Government data shows a sharp rise in young people receiving health‑related benefits, often due to mental health or neurodevelopmental conditions. At the same time, nearly one million young people are not in education, employment, or training (NEET), with many reporting that long‑term illness, disability, or mental health needs are preventing them from taking part.

This paints a clear picture: young people are not “opting out.” They are being left without the right support at the right time.

Even though there are many strengths and advantages linked to neurodiversity — which I explore in detail on the page Strengths‑Based Approach to Assessment and Care Planning — it is equally important to recognise that living in a predominantly “neurotypical world” can present significant challenges for many neurodivergent people. Strengths and difficulties can coexist. While neurodivergent traits bring creativity, insight, and unique problem‑solving abilities, many individuals still require adaptations, adjustments, or supportive environments to thrive.

Research, including work by Grove et al. (2023) and Krzeminska et al. (2019), highlights a range of everyday challenges that neurodivergent people may face, such as:

Managing day‑to‑day domestic tasks
Navigating environments designed around neurotypical norms — for example, travelling to and from work or using public transport
The emotional and physical toll of trying to “fit in,” often at great personal cost
Job interviews and workplace expectations that favour neurotypical communication styles and disadvantage those with atypical interaction patterns

These challenges do not reflect a lack of ability. They reflect environments, systems, and expectations that are not designed with neurodivergent people in mind. Recognising this is essential for creating assessments, support plans, and services that are genuinely inclusive, respectful, and effective.

Why Early Support Matters

When needs go unrecognised or unsupported — whether related to mental health, neurodivergence, social care, or safeguarding — the impact accumulates. Young people may experience:

Rising anxiety or emotional distress
Difficulties attending or engaging in education
Delays in developing independence skills
Social isolation
Reduced opportunities for employment or training
Long‑term effects on health and wellbeing

These outcomes are not inevitable. They can be prevented with timely, coordinated, and person‑centred support. The SEND 0–25 Code of Practice and the Care Act 2014 place clear duties on local authorities to plan early, support effectively, and prepare young people for adulthood — yet many still fall through the gaps.

What Trauma‑Informed, Relationship‑Based Practice Looks Like

Trauma‑informed practice relies on strong interpersonal skills, technical knowledge, and a deep understanding of the traumas that young people and adults may experience across their lifespan. This includes trauma linked to:

Stigma and discrimination
Rejection or exclusion
The emotional cost of masking
Unmet needs related to ASD, ADHD, and other forms of neurodivergence
Mental health challenges
Disrupted relationships or unsafe environments

Practitioners working in a trauma‑informed, neurodivergence‑friendly way prioritise empathy, consistency, collaboration, and respect. They recognise how trauma shapes a person’s sense of safety, identity, and wellbeing — and they adapt their approach to ensure that every interaction supports regulation, trust, and empowerment.

Below are some examples of traumas, where understanding and support help shape trauma‑informed practice within assessment, secure planning, and support.

SOCIAL AND SYSTEMIC TRAUMA (E.G. STIGMA, REJECTION, DISCRIMINATION)

Social trauma refers to the psychological and emotional harm caused by experiences of stigma, rejection, discrimination, and exclusion—often rooted in societal attitudes, systemic inequalities, and interpersonal interactions. It can occur across the lifespan and is especially relevant for individuals who are neurodivergent, disabled, LGBTQ+, from racialised communities, or have mental health challenges [please do consider Equality Act 2010 and protected characteristics]. Examples of Social Trauma:

Stigma

Being labelled as “difficult,” “attention-seeking,” or “non-compliant” due to mental health or neurodivergent traits.

Internalised shame from societal messages can significantly impact self-esteem, emotional well-being, and willingness to engage with community services. This may manifest as avoidance behaviours, heightened sensitivity to perceived judgment, and reluctance to seek support or participate in public activities. Young people with diagnosed or undiagnosed neurodivergent needs face significant challenges during their childhood and transition to adulthood. Those include:

sensory overwhelm
masking and burnout
executive functioning challenges
social communication differences
trauma from exclusion or misunderstanding
rigid systems that do not accommodate their needs

Instead of supporting their environment, they are repeatedly mislabeled. Standard Negative Labels often include:

Behaviour‑based labels

“Disruptive”
“Naughty”
“Badly behaved”
“Out of control”
“Lazy”
“Unmotivated”
“Doesn’t try”
“disengaged”
“non-compliant”
“Attention-seeking’
“naughty”
“lonelier”
“Can’t sit still”
‘Daydreamer’
“Rigid”
“Controlling”
“Obsessive”
“Difficult”
“Non‑compliant”
“Stubborn”
“Overreacts”
“Restless“
“Hyper-Vigilant”
“Stickler
“Controller”
“Odd”
“Different”
“Unfriendly”

Executive‑function misunderstanding

“Disorganised”
‘Slow learner’
“Messy”
“Forgetful”
“Careless”
“Irresponsible”
“Immature”

Social misunderstanding

“Too much”
“Overly emotional”
“Too sensitive”
“Annoying”
“Hyperactive”
“Attention‑seeking”
‘Too quiet’
“Rude”
“Doesn’t care about others”
“In their own world”
“Unfriendly”
“Withdrawn”
“Doesn’t make an effort socially”

Academic misunderstanding

“Underachiever”
“Hyper-Achiever”
“Not working to potential”
“Distracted”
“Unfocused”
“Doesn’t listen”
“Won’t follow instructions”
“Not trying”
“Slow”
“Behind”
“Not trying”
“Doesn’t engage”
“Doesn’t pay attention”

Sensory misunderstanding

“Fussy”
“Picky”
“Overdramatic”
“Too sensitive”
“Can’t cope with normal things”
“Clumsy”
“Careless”
“Doesn’t listen”
“impulsive’
“Avoidant”
“Overreacting”
“Being dramatic”
“Attention‑seeking”
“Disruptive”
“Not coping like the other children”
“Hyperactive”
“Restless”
“Can’t sit still”
“Not paying attention”
“Overly sensitive”
“Manipulative behaviour”
“Lack of discipline”

Masking‑related misunderstanding

“Fine in school, so nothing is wrong”
“Manipulative”
“Playing up at home”
“Inconsistent behaviour = behavioural choice”

ADHDWISE UK (2025) and Crisis Prevention Institute (2022) share that Psychiatrist and author William W. Dodson, MD, estimates that by age 12, children with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages from parents, teachers, and other adults than their neurotypical peers and siblings.

Rejection

• Repeated exclusion from peer groups, services, or family due to identity or behaviour.
• Being denied access to education, housing, or employment because of a diagnosis or background.

Discrimination

• Unequal treatment in healthcare, social care, or legal systems.
• Microaggressions or overt hostility based on race, gender, disability, or neurodivergence.

SYSTEMIC TRAUMA (e.g. institutional failures, lack of support) - refers to the harm caused by institutional failures, structural inequalities, and chronic lack of support from systems that are meant to protect and serve individuals—such as health care, social care, education, housing, and justice systems, and may include:

• Being repeatedly denied access to mental health or social services support.

• Experiencing neglect in care settings (e.g. hospitals, residential homes, supported accommodation) due to understaffing or poor training.

• Inconsistent or abrupt transitions between services (e.g. CAMHS to AMHS and/or children's social care to adults’ social care) without proper planning or relational continuity.
• Long waiting lists for essential services (e.g. autism/ADHD assessments, therapy, housing).
• Failure to provide reasonable adjustments
• Lack of trauma-informed practice across statutory services, leading to retraumatisation.
• Lack of adequate support in the community, which results in disproportionate detention under the Mental Health Act and/or delay in discharge planning.
• Community services are overstretched or inaccessible.
• The support is reactive rather than preventative.
• Individuals with complex needs (e.g. neurodivergence, trauma histories) are misunderstood or unsupported.
• Lack of suitable accommodation or supported living.
• Delays in social care and health assessments, EHC plans or CHC funding decisions.
• Poor coordination between health, social care, housing and other services.
• Inaccessible complaint or redress systems for people with communication or cognitive needs.

NEURODIVERGENCE-RELATED TRAUMA - Neurodivergence-related trauma refers to the emotional and psychological harm experienced by neurodivergent individuals—such as those with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD, Tourette’s, or other cognitive differences—due to chronic misunderstanding, exclusion, and systemic failures.

Misdiagnosis or Late Diagnosis
Being misunderstood or labelled
Missing out on early support, leading to different trauma
Sensory Overload and Environmental Stress
Exposure to overwhelming environments (e.g. noisy classrooms, bright lights) without accommodations which can trigger shutdowns, meltdowns, or dissociation.
Unmet sensory and communication needs
Social Rejection and Bullying
Isolation from peers, exclusion from activities, or being targeted for being “different.”
Reinforces feelings of shame, fear, and low self-worth.
Systemic Neglect
Lack of access to appropriate services, reasonable adjustments, or trauma-informed care.
Repeated invalidation by professionals or institutions.
Exclusion from services

The possible impact of trauma include neurodivergent trauma can be profound and long-lasting, affecting multiple domains of a person's life.

Earlier experiences often compound later vulnerabilities.
Neurodivergence, disability, race, gender, and poverty can increase risk and reduce access to support
Difficulty trusting others, fear of abandonment, relational instability.
Intense mood swings, difficulty managing stress, and self-harm.
Impaired concentration, learning difficulties, distorted self-image.
Chronic illness, sleep disturbances, heightened stress response.
Poor physical health and self-neglect.
Impulsivity, risk-taking, withdrawal,
Aggression
Masking behaviours and emotional exhaustion.
PTSD, anxiety, depression, dissociation.
Shame, guilt,
Isolation, avoidance of services, and difficulty finding or maintaining employment or education.
Difficulty trusting or forming relationships.
Increased risk of self-harm or suicide.
Withdrawal from services or refusal of support.
Loss of trust in professionals and services.
Avoidance or disengagement from support systems.
Reinforced feelings of rejection, worthlessness, or invisibility.
Extended hospital stays beyond clinical need.
Institutionalisation and loss of independence.
Unique trauma responses.

Unique trauma responses in neurodivergent individuals.

Neurodivergent individuals, such as those with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD, or other cognitive differences, may show unique trauma responses that can look quite different from those of neurotypical people. These differences are often overlooked, misunderstood, or misread in both clinical and social care environments.

Unique Trauma Responses may include:

1. Masking and Camouflaging
• Suppressing natural behaviours (e.g. stimming, avoiding eye contact) to avoid rejection and/or to fit in socially.
• May lead to emotional exhaustion, identity confusion, emotional distress and burnout.
• Often mistaken for “coping well” or “not needing support.”

2. Shutdowns and Meltdowns
• Shutdowns: Withdrawal, silence, immobility, dissociation.
• Meltdowns: Intense emotional outbursts, often triggered by sensory overload or emotional distress.
• These are trauma responses, not behavioural problems.

3. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) and Rejection Sensitivity Difficulties
• Extreme emotional pain in response to perceived criticism or rejection.
• Can lead to avoidance of relationships, services, or self-advocacy.
• Sudden mood changes or shutdowns after perceived rejection
• Difficulty trusting others or forming relationships
• Extreme emotional pain from minor criticism or social exclusion
• Avoidance of social or public situations due to fear of rejection

4. Hypervigilance and Sensory Defensiveness
• Heightened alertness to social or sensory threats.
• May present as irritability, avoidance, or refusal to engage.

5. Emotional Dysregulation
• Difficulty identifying, expressing, or managing emotions.
• May be misinterpreted as aggression, defiance, or instability.

6. Selective Mutism or Communication Shutdown
• Temporary inability to speak or communicate under stress.
• Often misunderstood as non-compliance or lack of capacity.

7. Avoidance of Services
• Due to past trauma, invalidation, or sensory/environmental barriers, they may be labelled as “non-engagement” when actually a protective trauma-informed response is required.

This is exactly why KindMindsWithKM exists. My work is grounded in the belief that every person deserves early, strengths‑based support and the chance to thrive — not simply cope. KindMindsWithKM was born from a simple truth: too many young people, adults, and families are left trying to navigate complex systems on their own. They are told to “cope,” to “be resilient,” to “fit in,” even when the world around them isn’t built with their needs in mind. I created this service because I’ve seen — personally and professionally — what happens when people are misunderstood, unsupported, or blamed for challenges that are not of their making.

My work is shaped by the belief that every person deserves early, strengths‑based support. Not support that waits for crisis. Not support that focuses on deficits. But support that recognises potential, honours lived experience, and helps people understand their rights and options. I focus on removing systemic barriers rather than placing responsibility on individuals who are already doing their best in environments that weren’t designed for them.

My focus is on:

Providing early, strengths‑based support
Helping young people, adults, and families understand their rights
Removing systemic barriers rather than placing blame on individuals
Nurturing ambition, confidence, and self‑belief
Supporting neurodivergent and mentally diverse people to build skills, independence, and resilience
Creating opportunities for growth, connection, and wellbeing

At the heart of KindMindsWithKM is a commitment to nurturing ambition, confidence, and self‑belief. Neurodivergent and mentally diverse people often carry extraordinary strengths — creativity, insight, determination, deep empathy — yet these strengths can be overshadowed when their needs go unseen. My role is to help people build the skills, independence, and resilience that allow those strengths to shine, while also creating opportunities for connection, growth, and wellbeing.

Everyone deserves the chance to thrive — not just survive. When unmet needs are recognised early, when the right support is offered at the right time, young people and adults can move forward with dignity, clarity, and hope. That belief sits at the centre of everything I do.

How This Can Be Achieved

What enables me to support young people, adults, and families effectively is the combination of lived experience, professional expertise, and a compassionate, evidence‑based approach.

My approach is shaped by three pillars that come together to create a deeply person‑centred way of working:

Lived experience — understanding the world through the lens of a neurodivergent individual, recognising the emotional realities behind masking, burnout, and unmet needs. Offering insight, empathy, and authenticity.
Professional expertise — nearly a decade supporting people with complex mental health and neurodevelopmental needs across NHS and social care settings.
Evidence‑based practice — strengths‑based, trauma‑informed, evidence-based assessment and care planning that respects identity, autonomy, and the whole person. Ensuring that every person’s voice, identity, and lived experience remain central

This combination allows me to meet people where they are, understand what they’ve been carrying, and walk alongside them as they move toward the life they want — with confidence, safety, and a sense of being truly seen.

This blend creates a unique, deeply person‑centred way of working — one that honours individuality, promotes wellbeing, and supports people to build the lives they want.

Tools to Support Strengths‑Based, Trauma‑Informed Assessment & Care Planning

Through my professional practice and ongoing development, I have created a range of tools that support Strengths‑Based, Trauma‑Informed Assessment & Care Planning. These tools are designed to help practitioners understand the full picture of a person’s needs, strengths, coping strategies, and lived experiences — particularly for individuals who are autistic, neurodivergent, or living with mental health conditions.

One of the key tools I have developed is a comprehensive guide for determining care needs eligibility under the Care Act 2014. This resource includes:

Key assessment questions
Practical guidance
Trauma‑informed considerations
Adaptations for autistic, neurodivergent, and mentally diverse individuals

It is designed to support practitioners in carrying out assessments that are lawful, person‑centred, and sensitive to neurodivergent experiences.

Core Areas Explored in the Tool

The tool goes beyond traditional assessment frameworks by exploring care outcomes, coping skills, strengths, and the barriers that individuals may face. These include:

1. Neurodivergent and Trauma‑Informed Considerations

Understanding how trauma and neurodivergence shape communication, emotional regulation, sensory processing, and daily functioning is essential. Trauma‑informed practice recognises that many behaviours are protective responses, not signs of non‑compliance.

2. Mobility and Communication Needs

This includes physical mobility, motor planning, expressive and receptive communication, processing time, and the impact of anxiety or sensory overload on communication.

3. Sensory Needs

a) Increased Sensitivity (Hypersensitivity)

Hypersensitivity can make sensory input feel intense, painful, or overwhelming. This may lead to:

Overwhelming responses (covering ears, shutting down, meltdowns)
Avoidance of bright lights, loud environments, certain textures or smells
Heightened emotional distress due to sensory overload
Difficulty concentrating or engaging in busy or unpredictable settings

b) Reduced Sensitivity (Hyposensitivity)

Hyposensitivity may reduce awareness of sensory input or lead to sensory‑seeking behaviours:

Reduced awareness of pain, temperature, or loud sounds
Sensory seeking (touching objects, spinning, making noises, seeking deep pressure)
Delayed responses to environmental cues or social signals
Risk‑taking behaviours due to reduced sensory feedback

4. Masking Symptoms

Masking is a significant, often invisible, source of stress for autistic and neurodivergent people. It involves suppressing natural behaviours, communication styles, or needs to fit into neurotypical expectations. Masking can be social, sensory, communication‑based, or cognitive.

a) Social Masking

This may include:

Suppressing stimming (e.g., sitting on hands, keeping still)
Mimicking neurotypical gestures, expressions, or tone
Scripting conversations or rehearsing responses
Forcing or avoiding eye contact
Hiding or minimising special interests
Overcompensating by being overly polite or agreeable
Experiencing social fatigue or exhaustion
Suppressing needs or natural reactions
Smiling or laughing without feeling the emotion

b) Communication Masking

This includes:

Altering tone, pitch, or pace of speech
Using memorised or scripted phrases
Hiding difficulties with idioms, sarcasm, or non‑literal language
Controlling facial expressions to match expectations
Modifying body language to appear “typical”
Avoiding spontaneous or unplanned conversations

c) Sensory Masking

This involves hiding or enduring sensory discomfort:

Pretending to be fine when overstimulated
Concealing sensory avoidance
Forcing tolerance of uncomfortable sensations
Suppressing sensory‑seeking behaviours
Minimising reactions to sensory overload

d) Cognitive Masking

Cognitive masking can be mentally exhausting and may contribute to autistic burnout. It includes:

Suppressing natural thought processes
Hiding learning differences
Disguising executive functioning challenges
Masking attention differences
Downplaying difficulties with change or transitions
Overthinking responses
Suppressing emotions to avoid judgement
Pretending to understand instructions or social cues
Overcompensating by being overly helpful or agreeable
Avoiding asking for help to avoid seeming incapable

Relationship‑Based Practice: Trauma‑Informed and Neurodivergence‑Friendly assessment and care planning

Safety and Trust
Empowerment and Choice
Collaboration and Mutuality
Cultural and Identity Awareness
Understanding Behaviour as Communication
Trauma-informed and neurodivergent-friendly practice
Co-production of services with lived experience experts.
Flexible, person-centred pathways that adapt to individual needs.
Early intervention: Strengthen local authority, community mental health teams, PCNs, and voluntary sector partnerships.
Relational continuity: Avoid abrupt transitions between CAMHS and AMHS; maintain trusted professionals.
Flexible commissioning: Fund bespoke packages (e.g. trauma-informed supported living, gender-matched staff).
Legal and Systemic advocacy
Use Section 117, Chapter 16 Care and Support guidance, CETRs, DSRs, and Court of Protection and any other relevant guidance and legislation to prevent unnecessary detention
Challenge delays in discharge planning and prevent the risk of admission and/or deterioration of mental health.
Challenge service barriers that exclude neurodivergent individuals.
Escalate unmet needs using legal frameworks (e.g. Care Act, SEND 0-25 [Children and Family Act 2014 Act], Equality Act 2010, etc.).
Use peer support or lived experience workers to bridge trust gaps.

Trauma-Informed and Neurodivergence-friendly Relationship-Based Practice/approach - should include:

Use sensory-friendly environments for assessments
Offer quiet, low-stimulation spaces for meetings or assessments.
Allow control over lighting, seating, and noise levels.
Provide sensory tools (e.g. weighted blankets, fidget items) where appropriate.
Communication and Interaction
Use clear, direct, and respectful language and avoid clinical jargon without explanation.
Offer alternative formats (e.g. visual aids, easy-read documents, video calls).
Avoid pressuring for eye contact or rapid verbal responses.
Validate masking behaviours and gently explore underlying needs.
Check for masking behaviours and gently explore underlying distress.
Offer gender-matched staff for individuals with trauma histories.
Allow breaks and pacing during meetings to reduce overwhelm.
Validate lived experience without pathologising neurodivergent traits and avoid minimising distress.
Validate exhaustion, meltdowns, masking and offer safe spaces and neurodivergent-affirming support
Explore sensory sensitivities, past trauma with services, and offer alternatives
Build consistent relationships, avoid abrupt staff changes, and validate emotional pain.
Use inclusive language and challenge discriminatory practices.
Offer choice and control in care planning and communication.
Build relational safety through consistency, empathy, and transparency.
Trauma-Informed Assessment: Explore history across life stages, not just current presentation.
Safeguarding Across the Lifespan: Use adult and child safeguarding frameworks flexibly and holistically.
Trauma-Informed and Neurodivergence-friendly care, support planning, and service delivery
Co-produce care plans with the person, respecting their autonomy.
Adapt environments to meet sensory and communication needs.
Ensure that safe spaces are available during crises or periods of emotional overload.
Use peer support or lived experience workers where possible.
Explore flexible support models,
Share and promote trauma-informed principles across MDTs, including housing, education, and health.
Use joint planning tools (e.g. Section 117 plans, CETRs, DSRs, the Care Act 2014) to embed trauma-informed care.
Escalate unmet needs with reference to legal duties and trauma impact.
Relational safety: Build trust through consistency, transparency, and empathy.
Empowerment: Offer choice and control in care planning. Validate strengths, autonomy, and lived experience.
Validation: Recognise and affirm the impact of trauma without pathologising.
Adaptation: Modify environments and communication to reduce distress and sensory overload.
Collaboration: Work across agencies to address unmet needs holistically. Co-produce plans with the person and their support network.
Safety: Create environments that feel physically and emotionally safe.
Trustworthiness: Be consistent, transparent, and predictable.
Choice: Offer control over how, when, and where support is delivered.
Neurodivergent Affirmation: Respect neurodivergent identities and avoid pathologising traits.
Transitions: Co-produced early planning, Gradual transitions, visual timelines,

The work should focuses on:

Early, strengths‑based support
Helping young people, adults, and families understand their rights
Removing systemic barriers, not blaming individuals
Nurturing ambition, confidence, and self‑belief
Supporting neurodivergent and mentally diverse people to build skills, independence, and resilience
Creating opportunities for growth, connection, and wellbeing

Everyone deserves the chance to thrive — not just survive. By recognising unmet needs and traumas early and offering the right support, we can help young people and adults move forward with confidence, dignity, and hope.