ADHD/ASD Life Coaching | KindMindsWithKM

What is coaching? Why is it important?

Institute of Coaching Studies Ltd described the etymology of the word coach from the first time when was used to describe a “large kind of carriage” - traveling from one place to another. Through the Oxford University slang/definition for “instructor/ trainer”, “for a tutor who carries a student through an exam, and later modern definitions

“Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.” (ICF)
"a professionally guided process that inspires clients to maximise their personal and professional potential. It is a structured, purposeful and transformational process, helping clients to see and test alternative ways for improvement of competence, decision making and enhancement of quality of life. Coach and Mentor and client work together in a partnering relationship on strictly confidential terms. In this relationship, clients are experts on the content & decision making level; the coach & mentor is an expert in professionally guiding the process.” (EMCC)
“A collaborative solution-focused, results-orientated and systematic process in which the coach facilitates the enhancement of work performance, life experience, self-directed learning and personal growth of the coachee.” (AC)

Imperial College London quotes the following definition of ‘Coaching’ which was put forward by Sir John Whitmore, widely acknowledged as the father of coaching for performance:

Coaching involves both a mindset and a skillset.

Mindset: You are resourceful, with inner strengths, capabilities and wisdom. As a result, you will often be able to identify the solution(s) to the issues you are experiencing
Skillset: This is about how to structure your thinking about your issue in order to find a solution that works for you”

All coaches should always comply with the relevant guidance and legislation, including the International Coaching Federation (ICF) Code of Ethics.

*Integrity: Always act with honesty, fairness, and respect toward clients and colleagues.

* Competence: Maintain high standards of competence and continually develop professional knowledge and skills.

*Boundaries: Avoid dual relationships or conflicts of interest that may impair professional judgment or exploit the trust of clients.

*Confidentiality: Safeguard all client information unless legally required to disclose or authorized by the client

*Client-Centred Approach: Place the needs, goals, and autonomy of the client first in all coaching interactions.

*Informed Consent: Clearly explain the nature of coaching, including boundaries, confidentiality, and fees, at the start of the relationship.

*Non-Discrimination: Provide services fairly and respectfully, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, or socioeconomic status.

*Referrals and Termination: Refer clients to other professionals when their needs fall outside your competence, and terminate coaching when it is no longer practical or ethical

*Transparency: Communicate openly and truthfully with clients about expectations, roles, and progress.

*Respect for Autonomy: Support clients in making their own decisions and taking ownership of their growth.

*Avoid Exploitation: Never take advantage of the trust and vulnerability key in a neurodivergent coaching relationship.

*Sexual Conduct: Do not engage in sexual or romantic relationships with clients.

*Accurate Representation: Represent your qualifications, experience, and abilities honestly.

*Legal Compliance: Abide by all applicable laws and regulations in your practice.

*Ethical Marketing: Market your services truthfully, without misleading claims or exaggeration

There are many factors which help us to determine what effective coaching is. Institute of Coaching Studies Ltd provides valuable description of effective coaching

“The more effective a coach is, the more value they’re able to deliver to their clients in a short period of time”

The other factors of affective caching can include:

Is willing to address discomfort directly,
Helps the client feel recognised, valued and supported: e
Keeps the coaching conversation flowing so the coachee feels safe to speak and share openly.
Listens with focus and draws attention to important points: e.g. ‘Can we just pause and go back over that?’
Stays neutral and balanced throughout:
Helps the client clarify their aims and motivations,
Offers a blend of encouragement and challenge that is realistic:
Keeps the client accountable and focused on their goals,
Prioritises long-term, meaningful outcomes over quick fixes that might not last
Opens up a sense of new possibilities

A Neurodivergent-Affirming Coach

A Neurodivergent-Affirming Coach is someone who supports neurodivergent individuals by celebrating their unique ways of thinking and helping thrive without trying to “fix” or normalise.

Core Principles

Affirmation over assimilation: Recognizes neurological differences as natural variations, not deficits.
Trauma-informed and non-pathologizing: Avoids clinical framing and instead centers emotional safety and agency.
Goal-oriented and adaptive: Works with clients to set personalized goals and develop strategies that align with their strengths, sensory needs, and communication styles.

What They Do

Help clients identify and leverage their strengths.
Co-design coping strategies for stress, masking, or burnout.
Support transitions (e.g., post-diagnosis, career shifts, creative blocks).
Advocate for inclusive environments at work or home.
Offer emotionally safe, flexible coaching that adapts to the client’s pace and capacity.

Effective Coaching - Core Skills for Coaching Neurodiverse Individuals

Empathy & Active Listening
Communication Needs and Flexibility
Sensory Sensitivity
Executive Function Support
Strength-Based Coaching
Cultural Competence & Inclusion
Adaptability & Creativity
Collaboration & Boundaries
Self-Awareness & Reflection and supervision
Choosing the Right Model of Caching
Follow-up and update since the last session
Some direction setting for the current session, Session summary,
SOCRATIC QUESTIONING, CLARIFYING QUESTIONS, ACTION ORIENTED QUESTIONS
COACHING RECORDS
PREPARING FOR THE END

Difference Between Coaching and Therapy and Difference between Coaching and mentoring

https://www.pldmentoring.com/blog/difference-between-coaching-and-mentroing

Why KindMindsWithKM?

According to the well‑known ADHD‑friendly PINCH model (Passion/Play, Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Hurry), passion is what motivates many people with ADHD — and it is certainly what drives me in both my personal and professional life. My current goal is to support the neurodivergent community and learning and development by exploring how we can foster a more inclusive, neurodivergent‑friendly society through coaching, advocacy, and safeguarding.

This commitment has led me to continuously expand my knowledge and experience in understanding and supporting neurodivergent individuals and communities. Alongside ongoing professional development in social work, mental health, neurodiversity, and related areas, I also completed the ADHD WORKS Coaching course, grounded in the ADHD Works Executive Functioning Coaching Framework and enriched by strengths‑based perspectives and interventions.

With my comprehensive understanding of neurodiversity, supported by both personal insights and professional experience, I am committed to contributing effectively to the neurodivergent community.

My Coaching Approach Is Grounded in Seven Core Elements

1. ADHD Works Executive Functioning Coaching Framework Informed by the work of Dr. Russell A. Barkley and centred on practical, evidence‑based strategies for supporting executive functioning.

2. The Balanced Attention Framework (40/60 Model) - Cognitive Lens of “What you focus on it grows” - Your brain filters information based on what you prioritise. Focus on fear? You’ll notice threats. Focus on possibility? You’ll spot opportunities. Attention is a form of energetic investment. What you attend to—whether a saboteur, a strength, or a story—gets reinforced. Self-awareness is not only about deficits and difficulties but also about strengths. Both are important, and both need our attention. Both matters. But the balance is key. Your focus should be on growth – but while we need to emphasise our strengths, we must not forget our deficits and difficulties. Finding the right balance involves addressing both, with a primary focus on strengths.

Here’s how your ratio could be visualised and applied:

Focus Area % of Attention Purpose

🧩 Deficits & Difficulties 40% Understand barriers, regulate difficulties, and help to understand support needs.

🌟 Strengths 60% Amplify capacity, build trust, and help to guide adaptive strategy

This balance honours the whole experience. It avoids toxic positivity while resisting deficit-only narratives. Naming difficulty is a natural part of the healing process, but focusing on strength is an essential component of growth.

3. Understanding ADHD/ASD Blockers and Saboteurs: Exploring the barriers, survival strategies, and deficit‑based narratives that impact daily functioning — and reframing them with compassion and clarity.

4. Strengths‑Based Coaching Identifying and amplifying individual strengths, values, and natural abilities to build confidence, agency, and sustainable progress.

5. The PINCH Model of Motivation and Focus Using Passion, Interest, Novelty, Challenge, and Hurry to understand how ADHD motivation works — and how to design and promote environments that support it. Why the PINCH Model MattersMost societal systems, like schools and workplaces, operate on an importance‑based model where people act according to what is important, expected, or rewarded. For ADHDers, this causes tension and burnout, triggers shame spirals, and lowers self‑esteem, making simple tasks seem disproportionately hard.The PINCH model explains why traditional motivation strategies often fail for ADHD and how aligning tasks with PINCH can enhance productivity, learning, and well-being. It normalises ADHD motivation and encourages strengths‑based, neurodivergent‑affirming environments. PINCH considers ADHD motivation as logical and predictable, not as laziness, and helps individuals with ADHD create supportive environments. When paired with a strengths‑based approach, it promotes well-being, self‑understanding, and sustainable productivity. However, learning to control hyperfocus is essential because ADHD and PINCH are like driving a Ferrari.

6. Neuroscience and Psychoeducation: Providing accessible, evidence‑informed explanations of ADHD/ASD to deepen self‑understanding and self-control

7. Tauma‑Informed Coaching includes understanding of co-morbid diagnoses and symptoms like ASD, Anxiety, Depression, EUPD/BPD, Complex PTSD, psychosis and Substance misuse: ensuring safety, trust, collaboration, and empowerment by recognising the impact of trauma on the nervous system, behaviour, and learning. To include:

NEURODIVERGENCE-RELATED TRAUMA - Neurodivergence-related trauma refers to the emotional and psychological harm experienced by neurodivergent individuals—such as those with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD, Tourette’s, or other cognitive differences—due to chronic misunderstanding, exclusion, and systemic failures.
- Misdiagnosis or Late Diagnosis
- Being misunderstood or labelled as “difficult,” “lazy,” or “attention-seeking.”
- Missing out on early support, leading to compounded trauma.
- Sensory Overload and Environmental Stress
- Exposure to overwhelming environments (e.g. noisy classrooms, bright lights) without accommodations which can trigger shutdowns, meltdowns, or dissociation.
- Unmet sensory, social, health and communication needs
- Social Rejection and Bullying
- Isolation from peers, exclusion from activities, or being targeted for being “different.”
- Reinforces feelings of shame, fear, and low self-worth.
- Lack of access to appropriate services, reasonable adjustments, or trauma-informed care.
- Repeated invalidation by professionals or institutions.
- Exclusion from services
Unique trauma responses in neurodivergent individuals,
- Masking and Camouflaging
- Shutdowns and Meltdowns
- Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) and Rejection Sensitivity difficulties
- Hypervigilance and Sensory Defensiveness
- Emotional Dysregulation
- Selective Mutism or Communication Shutdown
- Avoidance of Services: Due to past trauma, invalidation, or sensory/environmental barriers

We can use one of the three coaching approaches described by the Instructional Coaching Group:

https://www.instructionalcoaching.com/three-approaches-to-coaching/

Facilitative — Listener and guide; non‑expert — Supporting the coachee to find their own solutions (non‑directive)
Directive — Expert and instructor — Providing specific strategies, skills, or advice (highly directive)
Dialogical — Collaborative partner with expertise — Co‑constructing solutions through open dialogue, with the coachee as the decision‑maker

Each approach has its own strengths and limitations, and together we can decide which coaching style best suits our work and your goals.